Black hole

I fell in a hole and I can't get out ,and I'm taking all my life with me .I try hard to get out, but every time I try, I fell even deeper , I can't find a way out . A lot of time I think about Surrendering but I can't.  I can't fight and I can't give up . I'm standing in between and I can't move.
I need help but I don't know how or where to get it. Sometimes  I think I don't deserve it .I did things , I'm I ashamed of myself ,feeling like I don't deserve to be happy. Some time I feel it's too late for me to be saved.
Time stop for no one , maybe it's too late for me. Even if I got saved ,it's too late to start over .
What should I do , should I lay down and die .
Or maybe it doesn't matter how many mistakes I have done or how much time went by , maybe there is still a chance to break free ,To be happy.
I truly hope there is a chance because I really need one .I need a ray of hope. I need to know that I will get out one day and it won’t be too late to be happy. Do I make any sense ????

frankly my dear i dont give a dam

I'm  a girl and from the arab world and that mean alot of should and should not alot of rules. her if a girl get harasment they blame her , they say she didnt dress right. if a girl get raped they blame her , hit her and most off the time kill her .and i lived by all of that , idont like it but i lived by it. but its geting worse , girl are not allowed to live alone, it conseder impolite , girl goes out of her house only to her husband house, and when i say hasband it mostly arange marriage  because we are not allowed to date . and if i try to just talk out this rules i would be impolite , i just has a big fight with my father because i support gay right , i cant even choose my religion or even my clothe .am 28years old and my father choose my jobs i cant go out with my friend with out his permation . i try to talk to my parent about this thing once they said am impolite ,loser, intervel and stupid for discussing  that and that i am selfish and dont care what would people say and what would islam say and that i must be sick for thinking like that , and i dont care about my sister reputation and about my mom and what will happen to them if i leave and that i dont care for them . the only thing that keep flashing to my mind the whole figh is saying "frankly my dear i dont give a dam and leave the house".