the land of reality

A lot of time we see things that aren't true.because our mind diverts what we see to suit what we wish for or want , so we divert every truth just to keep living that dream and build that beautiful house of cards ,until one day we get hit by something so powerful that knock us out of our white cloud and we fall down to the land of reality and we start to see the ugly truth , then we ask ourselves how come we didn't see that before ,how did we fall for it? ,are we that stupid? Because it's clear as a diamond it was all lies , how were we so blind .Then we start blaming others for deceiving us & giving us false hope, but sadly again its our mind diverting the truth ,people didn't deceive us our mind did ,our mind diverts the truth so we believed their lies, And that is the truth .but we would  still prefer the lie "that others are to blame" than the truth so we can continue on living with ourselves. 

the plain truth

some of you may think i have no shame or that i have alot of time on my hand‏ ‏‎ ‎or trivial but i don't care maybe i'm all that but that what i have blog for to talk freely so i will tell what i'm hoping for now. I want the happily everafter i want the fairy tale , i want to hold hand cross finger with some one .i want when i walk near him he can't wait to touch my hand and neither do i that we walk so close so our hand bump by accident, i want to lean on his shoulder when i'm sad or just to feel him near me i want some one to hug me to feel safe i wanna hold him, kiss him and told him every thing will be ok i want to make him happy ,i want someone to live for me and to live for him.i don't want some one who can't live with out me. Is that too much to ask maybe am greedy but i fed up from say am ok because i'm not ok i want to scream saying i'm not oki . I just wanna be happy that all. I need to be happy am dying inside.