Thursday, June 25, 2015

the land of reality

A lot of time we see things that aren't true.because our mind diverts what we see to suit what we wish for or want , so we divert every truth just to keep living that dream and build that beautiful house of cards ,until one day we get hit by something so powerful that knock us out of our white cloud and we fall down to the land of reality and we start to see the ugly truth , then we ask ourselves how come we didn't see that before ,how did we fall for it? ,are we that stupid? Because it's clear as a diamond it was all lies , how were we so blind .Then we start blaming others for deceiving us & giving us false hope, but sadly again its our mind diverting the truth ,people didn't deceive us our mind did ,our mind diverts the truth so we believed their lies, And that is the truth .but we would  still prefer the lie "that others are to blame" than the truth so we can continue on living with ourselves. 

Friday, June 12, 2015

I'm yours

If only you know ,how easy for you to own me, control me and have me. All you have to do , is to make me feel that you are mine and I'm yours . And I would be like a pun in your hand. You will have me  body and soul.  You just have to say "you are mine,i want you and I won't share you" be greedy when it comes to me ,maybe for you those are just words but for me those are every thing i ever needed from you.
You already own me, you just have to claim me. For you and just you I'm as easy as it gets . If you just understand and I wish you do, because I want you and I want to be owned by  you.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Owned by you

I love you even though you are not mine, but I'm yours. You have all my keys so you control me like a puppet ,and read me like an open book.
The problem is I don't mind being owned by you ,even though I know that even though  you are everything to me I'm no one to you .every time I try to break free from you I fail  .you made me do things I never did and  feel things i never felt .you made feel so jealous that   The jealousy would eat me a life everytime I see you with another woman no matter who is she, no matter if it's reasonable or control my mood ,you can light up my day in a second ,and you break me in a second ,I miss you  every second of the day ,I can't even imagine my day without you , you are my safe place  .
  It hurt me so bad that I can't say that to you .It hurts  not to be able to tell you "I love you ",it hurt when i'm sad and need to be with but i can't ask you to ,it hurts when I see you sad or troubled  and it hurt when I can't hold your hand and tell you everything will be okay.  I love you so much that it hurts, but I can't stay away from you.
even if being near you hurt me, Staying Away from you would kill me for Sure. If I'm not with you then I don't want to be. I want to be owned by you.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015


On my second year in Egypt ,I use to lose my way a lot because I didn't know much about the streets of Egypt, then I started to like the idea of getting lost so much that I invented a game, I use to play it with a friend ,we go somewhere and go into random street without knowing their  names and then try to find our way back .I discovered new places and we had A lot of laughs  ,it was fun . I miss it . I want to get lost I need to get lost . I need to be free of responsibility ,get rid of my shackles and be free to get lost.
Did you ever try that? You should ,if you didn't you are missing a lot.
A lot of fun,a lot of freedom ,alot of discovery ,a lot of new places. I cant describe the feeling .you had to try it to know it.
Choose nice place not gang territory

Friday, March 20, 2015

What are you doing to me??

I keep going over our chat and smile like a fool, I must read it thousands of times .And still it never gets boring. And every time I smile like it's the first time I read it.I can't stop reading it ,it's not even romantic chat ,its ordinary chat. I'm simply addicted to you, your voice, your touch and your joke. I keep asking God to make you mine to feel the same as I do.I don't know what are you doing to me! I want to get over you and at the same time I don't want to . I'm losing my mind


When he looks to me ,my heart pound,and I keep on smiling like a fool . I try to block it or act normal, but I can't. I can't stop thinking about him. I try to let it go, but I see him almost every day.  Its constant reminder in my face with his joke,  and sadness. I truly want to stop thinking about him. My heart aches when he acts cold with me, ignore me or get close to another girl. It starts to show on me. It gets me crazy thinking  he knows, but just don't feel the same or he doesn't know. I need help to get over him. Sometime I just think I will tell him,then I tell myself there is no way he doesn't know.its simple he just don't feel the same.but still I keep waiting for his message. His cold reply, hoping one day it will get better . Do you think its karma or payback for all the times I said no. The only one I want doesn't feel the same.